Wonderland?

Your own world?

Who has heard of wonderland. I have... I heard it a magical world, no more pain, no more feeling worthless, you can do what ever you want. Sounds pretty better than the world we live in. Actually Society we live in.

It makes me think why can't we go there? Instead of staying here? But I found my answer. Cause there is a price. Die first then wonderland second. To me, I can do it in a second but it also makes me think who is going to take care of my family when I am gone? What is going to happen if I was gone? I have 2 sisters and 1 brother. My mother's health is poor. So.....................
I don't know what to do WHAT SHOULD I DO?!? Should I leave and forget what happen to me? Or I stay and keep surviving? I bet you guys ask the same thing too. I know I am not the only one. But is Wonderland worth it? Is Wonderland worth my remaining life span? WHAT SHOULD I DO?   Have I found myself an answer already? Can someone just give me a sign already.

But Wonderland has some problems too right?

It seems to me no matter where I go. My feelings, emotions, memories, depression, anxiety and mess up mind goes where ever I go. So, what is the problem of going to Wonderland if I am going to feel depressed anyways? I don't know.. I am stupid.. I should just give up on this Wonderland's adventure. Just give up like what I always do.